The Best Night of My Life


After days of debating if I wanted to share this on my blog I have decided to share with you my reader the funniest and most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Prepare to laugh hard and get grossed out.

Last Saturday I had a thirty-one party. After, three friends and I decided since we didn’t have any kids we should take advantage and go sing/watch karaoke. We ended up going in two cars, I driving one. Right before we left I was telling the girls how much I hate driving in St.Paul. It’s confusing and just plan sucks. Anyways as we are driving down the free way (at a place where two freeways conjoin making it a five lane) I see in my rear view mirror Flashing lights. My reaction, roll down all the windows in the car and start yelling is this really happening. My friend “J” who was riding with me didn’t see the ambulance that was quickly approaching us and looked at me like I had lost it. I yell do I pull over or just get over to the very right lane since it’s a five lane. She calmly told me just to get over. Well the ambulance was not going to pass me so I decided to take the exit coming up just to get out of the way. As I take the exit the ambulance did too! Why you ask well because the smart person that I am, I took the exit to get to the hospital, so here I am screaming “Is this really happening” and I am now in Down Town St.Paul and my friend “J” is laughing her ass off as this ambulance is screaming behind us. “STOP LAUGHING AND TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK TO GO!” I yell at”J” as she is wiping the tears from her eyes. Fast forward two hours later.

After some good Laughs at the bar, a shot, one big Ginger (2 gingers and ginger ale , and my name in to sing a song we decide to have another shot. ( I wasn’t even close to being drunk) so My friend “S” is telling the ambulance story to our friend “M” who had missed it the first time Just as I take the shot I start to laugh at something “S” says and I almost spit my drink all over”S” but I stop myself.  Here is where the story gets good; Because I held the drink in I end up inhaling it and start to choke! I am talking I can’t breathe and it’s kinda scary. Then my body decided the way it’s going to fix this problem is to puke all over the table and I am not talking a little bit, I’m talking it just kept coming and wasn’t going to stop. “S” “M” and “J” are laughing so hard in disbelief but then suddenly “S” throws up in her hands and runs out the side door with “M” following her to make sure she is ok.  As I am throwing up in a packed bar on the table I realize I still can’t breathe so my body says I know what I’ll do to solve this problem, I’ll piss my self! Yeah that’s right I started to pee myself (thank god I wore black pants) so as soon as my brain figures out my body has decided to piss its self as I am puking my brain made an executive decision and decided making myself stop peeing was more important than trying to get me to stop puking. After what seemed like a life time I stopped peeing and puking and sat there with my hands around my face scared to look up and see everyone in the bar looking at me. My friend “J” who had stayed faithfully at my side laughing so hard she looked like she was hysterically crying asks “do you want to go to the bathroom?”. My response “I don’t even want to look up.”

After a quick get away to the bathroom I find “S” and “M” in the bathroom laughing about the whole situation and before long the four of us were laughing so hard in the lady’s room that we couldn’t even stand up straight. After a wardrobe change (lucky for me “J” had two shirts on) We headed back to the bar to pay our tab. “J” asked if I was embarrassed and I said I decided that this is so unbelievable that I have decided to laugh about it instead of being totally mortified and so here I am telling you about the best night of my life. The funniest thing to ever happen to me.

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I sleep where I want to sleep


LP is 21 months and it seems as if she has already entered her terrible twos. Her temper tantrums are getting worse and more often. All week she has been waking up in the night and throwing temper tantrums for no reason. This goes on for hours every night. I am at my wit’s end.

The other night LP ran to the couch and wanted to sleep on the couch. Our home is baby proofed so I was ok with it as long as I got to sleep. I left LP bedroom door open just in case she wanted to go back to her room. In the morning I awoke to LP gone. Thinking she went to her bedroom I went to go check on her. This is what I found in the hallway.

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Parenting is hard but sometimes you just have to sit back and laugh.

happy parenting 🙂

Screwing up your kids, it’s a reqirement


I have been thinking about a few different topics to write about, teething, amber necklaces, and some other informative topics. Today I want to take this time to talk about the lighter, funnier side of being a parent. Stories from both my experiences as a parent and experiences from being my parent’s child. To warn you this post is going to be funny, sarcastic, and probably a little offensive. you have been warned.

Oh and dad if you are reading this I love you and you did an amazing job raising us kids. This is just poking fun at our experiences. Please take this that way.

Growing up I was the oldest of six kids (second oldest of seven but my older sister is 13 years older than I am and moved out of the house when I was four).  I like to think that I am a lot like my parents were when they were young. Always up for good company and a good time. I have older parents my mom was about 40 when she had me and my dad was a bit older than that. Growing up my siblings and I were allowed to run around the neighborhood with out an adult (it was different times back then and I grew up in a small town) but for the most part I think my parents wanted us kids to grow up independent and so they took that and applied it to their parenting style (something that I too have applied to my parenting style). It is still a wonder how all of us kids survived looking back I remember things from the perspective of a child. Going in to public with six kids all with in 5 years of each other must have been a hand full, but I remember mom and dad yelling at one of us to behave, or to stop that, or to be quiet. Being the oldest I was always so embarrassed because where ever we were we always drew attention. Now that I am a parent I see a lot of my parents style of parenting in mine. By no means am I going to have six kids but I do have a more lax style of parenting then lets say my in-laws.

Example: going through some old pictures I come across a picture of my sister at the top of a fully extended extension ladder she couldn’t have been more than five years old. I turn to my dad and say I love that your first reaction is to grab a camera and take a picture, mom most not have been home that day. No wonder you had so many kids, you didn’t think we would all survive to adult hood” he laughed but to be honest I remember my dad working on the roof of the house and him taking me up on the roof and teaching me how to walk on a roof. I was about six. But that’s the way it was, he grow up on a farm and had to work on the farm as a child. the things he learned he taught us. Although a lot of my storied of my child hood would have cps called now a days, I am thankful for my childhood it made me who I am.

With LP she is my dads granddaughter for sure. When I look at her I can just see the wheels turning, figuring out how she can get in to mischief. One morning we went in to the playroom and I feel asleep on the couch. LP was learning how to share food, so I woke up to her trying to feed me something, I woke up thinking where did you find food. No it wasn’t food, it was poop from her diaper. That’s right, insert reaction here. As a parent you become accustomed to the gross things life throws at you. Poop is apart of your life now, it’s everywhere, and after a while it’s not as gross as before you had kids. My sisters (who are all childless) always are grossed out by things LP does or things that come out of her and they can’t believe that it doesn’t phase me. Trying to keep those little buggers clean is a never-ending battle and before you know it your kid is the one with peanut butter in her hair, snot dried up around her nose and food all over her shirt. You know what kid I am talknig about, the one you saw when you were childless and you thought to yourself  “man clean up your kid; when I have kids my kid will never look like that.” Well bam bitch you were wrong and that’s what you get for judging someone with kids when you don’t have any. Or going to a friend’s house who has kids and their house is trashed and you don’t understand why because you don’t  have kids…… well buddy that is your future because cleaning with a toddler is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos, it doesn’t work.

When you are a parent especially a stay at home mom. you are constantly with your kids. you learn quick if you want to do things you have to bring your kids with and for SAHM’s a break from the kids are very few. Nap time is your favorite time of the day, closely followed by bed time. Nice relaxing showers are a thing of the past, that is if you even have time for a shower. You have a kid banging on the door yelling for you, sticking their little fingers underneath the door; that is if you are even alone in the bathroom. Oh and I hope you like company when you take a shit because that little bundle of joy is going to demand to be with you on your lap. Once you become a mom you no longer get the right to be alone. When you finally get the chance to get a break and you have a sitter and you get to go out with your friends, you feel like a bad parent. THERE IS NO WINNING!

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When your child is born you think that the baby stage is going to be the hardest because you have to do every thing for them.Then they get to be toddlers and all of a sudden your cute daughter has an opinion and her new favorite word is “no” and no matter what  you do they will learn that word and they will use it day in and day out. She wants what she wants and if she doesn’t get it prepare for a full on temper tantrums. So you do your best and hope that you aren’t screwing up your child too much. Your baby falls off the bed or the couch (it happens) and after a while you think well so much for college for my Little one. Lp is very clumsy just like her mom. So she is always falling, hitting her head things like that, and you can help but make light of it. The funny thing is LP will fall and hit her head and you think that it will be followed with tears and sometimes it is but most of the time she pops up like a champ and continues playing, more than once other parents have laughed in amazement.

All of these things suck not going to lie. When your Little one wants to snuggle or does something cute and funny it’s so worth it.  Being a parent is hard. You do your best but in the end you end up screwing up your kid one way or the other. The best you can hope for is that they become a good person and a productive member of society.

Happy Parenting 🙂

Mama! I can’t…….can do it.


As a parent you want to protect your child, you don’t want them to get hurt, you want them to be happy, but you don’t want them to be whiny (what parent does, right?). There is a line that can cross and that line is the over protective parent. No one wants to be that person but I can see how it is easy to not even notice that you have become one.

When LP was younger Hubby and I were at his parents house. By this time LP had long been mobile and she has had her share of bumps along the way. LP was climbing on a chair (on the Legs not very far off the ground) and Hubby jumped up to retrieve her. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I don’t want her to fall and get hurt.” She was just learning to climb and I asked him “How do you think she will learn how to get up on a chair if you always stop her?” The way I see it is most of the learning we do as adults is trial and error, what makes us think it’s any different for kids. The only difference is we don’t have a giant stopping us when we are having a little trouble. Same with parents that help their child too much. I’m not saying not to help your child but there is a point where it goes to far. Like instead of your child going to try a task on their own they turn to you for help, Then you might have passed that line. If you catch the early signs of over protective parent don’t worry there is still hope for you 😛

I am not saying that it isn’t easy to risk your child getting hurt but the smile that takes over their little face with pride when they have accomplished a task on their own is worth the stress.

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I have to remind myself that everything is a new experience for LP and that I need to let her have those experiences and knowing the difference between learning and danger is part of what makes a good parent.

Happy parenting 🙂


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I get stopped all the time in Public by strangers telling me how Beautiful LP is. Now all parents think their little one is the most beautiful child in the world but I submitted a photo to parents magazine just the same. Please vote for my little one. If she wins the money will go towards her future education. thank you

Happy Parenting 🙂

Link

Baby Teeth


” When you push that kid out they should have a book that tells you how to raise that specific child.” This is what was said to me as I was discussing dental care for our Little Ones with my friend “I”. Our kids are a week apart and she is just as clueless on dental care for our kids as I am. That is until I read an article in Parents magazine. That’s when I found out that I am doing what I am suppose to be (yay for me). My friend “I” had a lot of questions. Which brings me to this post. I figured if the both of us are clueless with our 21 month olds then there have got to be other moms out there that are just as clueless.

dental care is important for little ones, it teaches them good habits, and can prevent dental problems (bills) before there permanent teeth come in. You may think that it’s not that important now because they don’t have all their teeth, or because they are baby teeth and they are going to fall out anyways. This is not true. Kids should see the dentist between their 1st and second Birthday depending on how your kids teeth are coming in. Problems with baby teeth could effect adult teeth making it a life long problem. You should get into the habit of wiping babys gums even before teeth come in for two reasons: gets baby use to having you brush their teeth before they even have teeth and bacteria grows on babys gums also so when those buggers start to pock through the gums will be clean.

Personally we didn’t start using Tooth paste (baby tooth paste with no fluoride  until LP was a year old but before that we used just plain water. So here is our run down on brushing teeth in our house. I give LP her tooth brush with water on it and she goes to town brushing her teeth (granted it’s more like shaking her tooth brush in her mouth). While she is “brushing” her own teeth I brush mine, I have noticed that while she is watching me she mimics how I brush my teeth. After I am done I sit on the toilet with LP on my lap and I brush her teeth with tooth paste, at first LP hated it when it was my turn to brush her teeth but she soon got use to it and now she puts up little fight. You should brush your kids teeth after they do to make sure that the teeth are clean. When your kid can tie their own shoe they have the dexterity to go solo brushing their own teeth.  If your child makes it to age 4 with no cavities it’s a good chance cavities wont be a problem in their child hood, they have good habits down and prob. good genes.

Preventing cavities:

Don’t put your little one down for bed with a sippy or bottle. the sugars in formula, milk and breast milk will cling to your little ones teeth allowing bacteria to grow/feed during the night. The bacteria that causes cavities feed on sugar so cutting back on juice is a good option, especially if your little one runs around with a sippy cup all day. Cut back on sugary treats and high-carbohydrated snacks like crackers, pretzels and cereal which break down in to sugars.The AAPD recommends no more then 6 ounces of juice a day. If your little one Loves juice, take a 6 oz water bottle or one that has measurements on the side and fill it to six ounces in the morning so you can keep track of your little ones juice intake. Also make sure your little one gets lots of water infused with fluoride  most counties add fluoride to faucet water so make sure they get water from the faucet. If you have well water or use bottled water talk to your doctor. It is recommended that your little one be off Bottles/sippy cups by 12 months (yeah that’s going to happen). I think a more realistic goal is by 20 months. At 12 months no nuks, no bottles ( make sure to do this by a year because your little one will forget about their bottle or nuk quicker and it will make it much easier for you). Switch to sippys and between 12 and 20 months introduce different sippy cups that will help them make the switch to cups easier. I didn’t introduce cups to LP her grand parents did. When we would go over to their house for dinner they always gave LP a plastic cup and helped her to drink out of it. They had sippy cups but they reserved those for the day time. LP is almost 21 months and uses a cup by herself at dinner now. I plan to have her off sippys by her second birthday but save a few for travel.

I hope that this post has answered some of your questions about dental care for babies. If you have more questions leave a comment and I will try and answer them if I can.

Happy Parenting 🙂Image