What Kind of Parent Am I?


So I have been seeing a lot of post about attachment Parenting on my Facebook feed lately (can you tell what kind of facebook friends I have). While I like to think I am a natural parenting kinda gal. I know I am not an attachment type of parent. Don’t get me wrong I have friends who practice that style of parenting but it’s just not for me. I got to thinking what kind of parenting style do I practice?

So I hit the internet to find my parenting style. I read Blogs, took parenting style test and looked up definitions. This is what I found:

Turns out I am not just one parenting style. I am a mix. but my main foundation for my parenting style is Authoriative parenting.

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parents, also called ‘balanced’ parents, establish rules and guidelines, and children are expected to follow along. However, these parents are usually more responsive to their kids and more willing to listen to questions and negotiate. They are distinct from Authoritarian moms and dads as they’re more forgiving and nurturing, particularly when their children fail to follow the rules or meet their expectations.

The result? Children of Authoritative parents are the happiest, most capable and successful of the bunch!

I knew I was an authoritative parent in fact I knew before I had kids (thank you college psych classes). I wanted to know what modern day style I was, I mean there are so many styles: attachment parenting, crunchy, silky, tiger, emotional coaching parents. I mean the list goes on, but which one was I? So to find out I had to look up some definitions.

Emotion Coaching

“Come sit with me and we’ll talk about

how you’re feeling right now.”

Emotion Coaching parents value sharing emotional times

with their children.

To Emotion Coach, parents need to use empathy. Specifically,

these parents try to put themselves into their child’s shoes.

They show an understanding of their children’s emotions and

Guide them in their behavior. Emotion Coaching creates a

foundation for strong, healthy, trusting relationships.

Emotion Coaching takes practice. Every emotional event is

different and Emotion Coaching needs to be flexible. None of

us can do it all the time, but the more we can take the time to

help children work through their emotions, the better.

Children with Emotion Coaching Parents tend to …

Learn that feelings are important and can be trusted.

Learn how to name certain feelings and begin to understand

why they feel the way they do.

Learn that they are not alone with their feelings, and that they

can bring their wide range of emotions to their parents with

confidence they will beloved and comforted.

Learn that all feelings they experience are OK, but not all of

their behaviors are OK.

Learn how to solve the problems life brings.

Learn to calm themselves down when they have strong

Emotions so they can concentrate better at school.

Learn about their own feelings and the feelings of others,

which helps them form strong friendships.

Tiger Parenting

a strict or demanding mother who pushes her children to high levels of achievement, using methods regarded as typical of child rearing in China and other parts of East Asia

Crunchy Parenting

Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods. See crunchy and hippie.

(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crunchy%20mama)

Silky Parenting

Modern mother who prefers medicated hospital birth, bottle feeding/part time breastfeeding, disposable diapers, crib sleeping, etc. One who follows the advice of established medical authority; often tend to be working moms who rely on modern products for convenience and time management.

(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=silky%20mom)

So I definitely am an emotional coach parenting style in fact while reading that I kept thinking I so do that on every point in the description

But I knew that wasn’t all  to my style of parenting and came a cross the term Scrunchy parenting

Scrunchy Parenting

A mix of silky parenting and Crunchy parenting

So that’s what I am a Authoritative, emotional coaching, Scrunchy mom. Leave a comment and tell me what you are.

 

Happy Parenting 🙂

 

 

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To Eat or Not to Eat that is the Question


Little Pumpkin

Remember the days when your baby would cry and you would know they needed one of the following : diaper change, burping, or the boob. Now that LP is a toddler she is always begging for snacks. Always “food?”, Soon followed by a temper tantrum when the answer is no; But how do you know if your toddler is really hungry or just wants to snack.

For Toddlers ( ages 1-3)

Daily calories needed: 1,200-1,400

With toddlers when they are eating lunch or dinner and they tell you that they are full and they have eaten a good amount of food on the plate trust them they know. It’s natural for a toddlers appetite to change day-to-day. one day they may want to eat everything on the plate the next not so much. Research done at the University of California, San Francisco, Up to 85 percent of parents say don’t listen to their kids when they say they are full and push them to eat more (‘two more bites”) , giving them praise for having a couple more bites. This could lead to your child eating when they aren’t hungry. As a child I remember going to my grand parents house for dinner and we weren’t allowed to leave the table until out plates were clean, making us apart of the exclusive “clean plate club”. As an adult I still struggle listening to my body when I am full and not feel like I have to finish everything on my plate. Talk about your classical conditioning. So when I became a parent I knew from the beginning that clean plate would not be a requirement in my childrens lives.  Don’t get me wrong if my kid takes two bites and says All done I know the last time she at was a snack at 2 and it is now 6pm she is hungry, but if she eats most of whats on her plate yeah I’ll listen and tall her good job. If your full you are full no sweets after dinner (fruit, apple sauce, cookies, ect….).  A study done at the University of Pennsylvania found that many over weight 5 to 12 year olds aren’t receptive to their own hunger cues. Helping your child to stay aware whether they are hungry or full may go a long way to prevent obesity.

At lunch time LP eats in the living room at the coffee table with her Little chair. We don’t do this because she wants to watch tv but because she is a toddler and it’s the middle of the day. she will eat a little see a toy she wants to play with then go back to her food and eat some more. Didn’t you know toddlers have busy schedules mid day lot’s of playing to fit in before that nap. so with a PB&J sandwich and some fruit and carrot sticks that gives LP to eat food that wont get cold and still taste good even though she is grazing. As time has gone by doing this I have noticed that LP will spend more and more time eating at one time and taking fewer and fewer play breaks. While this is happening she is learning to sit at the table and eat so when we go places (friends and familys houses for dinner, Restaurants) I have noticed she isn’t as fussy to stay at the table and eat.

At Dinner I do strap her in to the high chair for a few reasons. At the tail end of cooking dinner the house is filled with yummy smells and this kicks LP hunger in high gear resulting her at my feet begging for food. So I strap her in to the high chair and hive her a coloring book with some crayons. This way she knows that I am not ignoring her request and that food is coming soon. She gets to distract herself from the hunger with an activity , and I know she isn’t going to color on the walls or wood floors so I can concentrate on dinner. Finally the high chair is at the same level as the dinning room table so we can eat as a family and she can feel apart of it.

Kids can’t tell time so sticking to a schedule is important we keep meals and snacks about three hours apart. Breakfast at 6:30am ( know she is a early riser) a Healthy snack at 9:30 Lunch at 12:30 followed by a nap, a sweets snack (cookies, fruit snacks) at 3:30 and dinner a little after 6pm. We never really have problems with LP napping because she knows that after lunch comes a nap. keeping your kids on a schedule not only keeps your kid at a healthy by “normalizing hunger, but it helps them to know whats coming next in the day giving them a sense of security.

I know every parent has tried it but giving food as a bribe is a no no. Example: Lp was upset a toy had been taken from her from one of her little friends. She was mad! so she decided to throw a temper tantrum. Hubbys solution. He offers her food because he know thats the fail safe no matter what LP will be happy if you give her food. She is a eater what can I say. When I heard him offer her a treat. I said A. you are rewarding her for throwing a TT. And B. that could lead to emotional eating. He laughed at me “emotional eating?!”. He thought I was off my rocker. “She is two.” he said. Then My friend and I explained that emotional eating is psychological and if when she is disappointed as a child and you give her food to make her feel better, as an adult she will eat when she is upset. A lot of parents use food as reward and or trying to get their kid to do something they want for food. when you do this you are sending the wrong message about food. While some parents do this from time to time for short periods claim success it’s no good to use it in excess.

Bribing your kids to eat veggies is no good as well. toddlers tastes change a lot. one week LP loves cooked carrots the next she wont touch them. just because they don’t want to eat it doesn’t mean you should try to make them eat it, they will probably eat it next week and hate something else. being mindful of what your kid doesn’t want to eat week to week and just giving a different veggie they will eat will save you from wasting food and from tears (yours and your little one 🙂 )

Well I hope this helps you on this crazy adventure we call parenting. If you have more questions, or any feed back about this post  please feel free to leave a comment I love getting feed back from my readers.

Happy parenting! 🙂

The Terrible Twos


No one ever told me that the terrible two start before the kid is even two. At about 20 months LP started throwing temper tantrums. I have no one but myself to blame, she has my temper. Lp is a very laid back but when she gets mad, look out! So what to do with these temper tantrums she is throwing.  Well I didn’t want to punish LP for throwing a TT. A temper tantrum is a surge of emotion that your little one experience when they get mad. Learning how to control that emotion is the tricky part. So when ever LP throws a TT I take her to her room and tell her she can cry and scream all she wants in her room and when she is done she can come out and join the rest of us. I figure if LP knows there is a place to throw TT she will learn to control herself in public because her room is not there. Now this is a method I came up with on my own so I have no idea if it will work. LP has never thrown a TT in public yet. I told my husband I want LP to feel that she can express her emotions without feeling like she is doing something wrong. That’s why we put her in her room with the door open. Her room is her safe place, her area to do what she needs to get out her frustrations. When LP is on the verge of a TT I let her know that I understand that she is frustrated. I mean think about how frustrating it would be if you wanted something but no one understood what you wanted. I try to explain to her that I don’t understand what she wants when she doesn’t use her words. I believe a lot of LP TT is caused from frustration so working on communication is key to keep the TT to a minimum.

How do you deal with Temper Tantrums? leave a comment on what worked for you and what didn’t.

 

I sleep where I want to sleep


LP is 21 months and it seems as if she has already entered her terrible twos. Her temper tantrums are getting worse and more often. All week she has been waking up in the night and throwing temper tantrums for no reason. This goes on for hours every night. I am at my wit’s end.

The other night LP ran to the couch and wanted to sleep on the couch. Our home is baby proofed so I was ok with it as long as I got to sleep. I left LP bedroom door open just in case she wanted to go back to her room. In the morning I awoke to LP gone. Thinking she went to her bedroom I went to go check on her. This is what I found in the hallway.

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Parenting is hard but sometimes you just have to sit back and laugh.

happy parenting 🙂

Screwing up your kids, it’s a reqirement


I have been thinking about a few different topics to write about, teething, amber necklaces, and some other informative topics. Today I want to take this time to talk about the lighter, funnier side of being a parent. Stories from both my experiences as a parent and experiences from being my parent’s child. To warn you this post is going to be funny, sarcastic, and probably a little offensive. you have been warned.

Oh and dad if you are reading this I love you and you did an amazing job raising us kids. This is just poking fun at our experiences. Please take this that way.

Growing up I was the oldest of six kids (second oldest of seven but my older sister is 13 years older than I am and moved out of the house when I was four).  I like to think that I am a lot like my parents were when they were young. Always up for good company and a good time. I have older parents my mom was about 40 when she had me and my dad was a bit older than that. Growing up my siblings and I were allowed to run around the neighborhood with out an adult (it was different times back then and I grew up in a small town) but for the most part I think my parents wanted us kids to grow up independent and so they took that and applied it to their parenting style (something that I too have applied to my parenting style). It is still a wonder how all of us kids survived looking back I remember things from the perspective of a child. Going in to public with six kids all with in 5 years of each other must have been a hand full, but I remember mom and dad yelling at one of us to behave, or to stop that, or to be quiet. Being the oldest I was always so embarrassed because where ever we were we always drew attention. Now that I am a parent I see a lot of my parents style of parenting in mine. By no means am I going to have six kids but I do have a more lax style of parenting then lets say my in-laws.

Example: going through some old pictures I come across a picture of my sister at the top of a fully extended extension ladder she couldn’t have been more than five years old. I turn to my dad and say I love that your first reaction is to grab a camera and take a picture, mom most not have been home that day. No wonder you had so many kids, you didn’t think we would all survive to adult hood” he laughed but to be honest I remember my dad working on the roof of the house and him taking me up on the roof and teaching me how to walk on a roof. I was about six. But that’s the way it was, he grow up on a farm and had to work on the farm as a child. the things he learned he taught us. Although a lot of my storied of my child hood would have cps called now a days, I am thankful for my childhood it made me who I am.

With LP she is my dads granddaughter for sure. When I look at her I can just see the wheels turning, figuring out how she can get in to mischief. One morning we went in to the playroom and I feel asleep on the couch. LP was learning how to share food, so I woke up to her trying to feed me something, I woke up thinking where did you find food. No it wasn’t food, it was poop from her diaper. That’s right, insert reaction here. As a parent you become accustomed to the gross things life throws at you. Poop is apart of your life now, it’s everywhere, and after a while it’s not as gross as before you had kids. My sisters (who are all childless) always are grossed out by things LP does or things that come out of her and they can’t believe that it doesn’t phase me. Trying to keep those little buggers clean is a never-ending battle and before you know it your kid is the one with peanut butter in her hair, snot dried up around her nose and food all over her shirt. You know what kid I am talknig about, the one you saw when you were childless and you thought to yourself  “man clean up your kid; when I have kids my kid will never look like that.” Well bam bitch you were wrong and that’s what you get for judging someone with kids when you don’t have any. Or going to a friend’s house who has kids and their house is trashed and you don’t understand why because you don’t  have kids…… well buddy that is your future because cleaning with a toddler is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos, it doesn’t work.

When you are a parent especially a stay at home mom. you are constantly with your kids. you learn quick if you want to do things you have to bring your kids with and for SAHM’s a break from the kids are very few. Nap time is your favorite time of the day, closely followed by bed time. Nice relaxing showers are a thing of the past, that is if you even have time for a shower. You have a kid banging on the door yelling for you, sticking their little fingers underneath the door; that is if you are even alone in the bathroom. Oh and I hope you like company when you take a shit because that little bundle of joy is going to demand to be with you on your lap. Once you become a mom you no longer get the right to be alone. When you finally get the chance to get a break and you have a sitter and you get to go out with your friends, you feel like a bad parent. THERE IS NO WINNING!

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When your child is born you think that the baby stage is going to be the hardest because you have to do every thing for them.Then they get to be toddlers and all of a sudden your cute daughter has an opinion and her new favorite word is “no” and no matter what  you do they will learn that word and they will use it day in and day out. She wants what she wants and if she doesn’t get it prepare for a full on temper tantrums. So you do your best and hope that you aren’t screwing up your child too much. Your baby falls off the bed or the couch (it happens) and after a while you think well so much for college for my Little one. Lp is very clumsy just like her mom. So she is always falling, hitting her head things like that, and you can help but make light of it. The funny thing is LP will fall and hit her head and you think that it will be followed with tears and sometimes it is but most of the time she pops up like a champ and continues playing, more than once other parents have laughed in amazement.

All of these things suck not going to lie. When your Little one wants to snuggle or does something cute and funny it’s so worth it.  Being a parent is hard. You do your best but in the end you end up screwing up your kid one way or the other. The best you can hope for is that they become a good person and a productive member of society.

Happy Parenting 🙂

Mama! I can’t…….can do it.


As a parent you want to protect your child, you don’t want them to get hurt, you want them to be happy, but you don’t want them to be whiny (what parent does, right?). There is a line that can cross and that line is the over protective parent. No one wants to be that person but I can see how it is easy to not even notice that you have become one.

When LP was younger Hubby and I were at his parents house. By this time LP had long been mobile and she has had her share of bumps along the way. LP was climbing on a chair (on the Legs not very far off the ground) and Hubby jumped up to retrieve her. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I don’t want her to fall and get hurt.” She was just learning to climb and I asked him “How do you think she will learn how to get up on a chair if you always stop her?” The way I see it is most of the learning we do as adults is trial and error, what makes us think it’s any different for kids. The only difference is we don’t have a giant stopping us when we are having a little trouble. Same with parents that help their child too much. I’m not saying not to help your child but there is a point where it goes to far. Like instead of your child going to try a task on their own they turn to you for help, Then you might have passed that line. If you catch the early signs of over protective parent don’t worry there is still hope for you 😛

I am not saying that it isn’t easy to risk your child getting hurt but the smile that takes over their little face with pride when they have accomplished a task on their own is worth the stress.

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I have to remind myself that everything is a new experience for LP and that I need to let her have those experiences and knowing the difference between learning and danger is part of what makes a good parent.

Happy parenting 🙂

Baby Teeth


” When you push that kid out they should have a book that tells you how to raise that specific child.” This is what was said to me as I was discussing dental care for our Little Ones with my friend “I”. Our kids are a week apart and she is just as clueless on dental care for our kids as I am. That is until I read an article in Parents magazine. That’s when I found out that I am doing what I am suppose to be (yay for me). My friend “I” had a lot of questions. Which brings me to this post. I figured if the both of us are clueless with our 21 month olds then there have got to be other moms out there that are just as clueless.

dental care is important for little ones, it teaches them good habits, and can prevent dental problems (bills) before there permanent teeth come in. You may think that it’s not that important now because they don’t have all their teeth, or because they are baby teeth and they are going to fall out anyways. This is not true. Kids should see the dentist between their 1st and second Birthday depending on how your kids teeth are coming in. Problems with baby teeth could effect adult teeth making it a life long problem. You should get into the habit of wiping babys gums even before teeth come in for two reasons: gets baby use to having you brush their teeth before they even have teeth and bacteria grows on babys gums also so when those buggers start to pock through the gums will be clean.

Personally we didn’t start using Tooth paste (baby tooth paste with no fluoride  until LP was a year old but before that we used just plain water. So here is our run down on brushing teeth in our house. I give LP her tooth brush with water on it and she goes to town brushing her teeth (granted it’s more like shaking her tooth brush in her mouth). While she is “brushing” her own teeth I brush mine, I have noticed that while she is watching me she mimics how I brush my teeth. After I am done I sit on the toilet with LP on my lap and I brush her teeth with tooth paste, at first LP hated it when it was my turn to brush her teeth but she soon got use to it and now she puts up little fight. You should brush your kids teeth after they do to make sure that the teeth are clean. When your kid can tie their own shoe they have the dexterity to go solo brushing their own teeth.  If your child makes it to age 4 with no cavities it’s a good chance cavities wont be a problem in their child hood, they have good habits down and prob. good genes.

Preventing cavities:

Don’t put your little one down for bed with a sippy or bottle. the sugars in formula, milk and breast milk will cling to your little ones teeth allowing bacteria to grow/feed during the night. The bacteria that causes cavities feed on sugar so cutting back on juice is a good option, especially if your little one runs around with a sippy cup all day. Cut back on sugary treats and high-carbohydrated snacks like crackers, pretzels and cereal which break down in to sugars.The AAPD recommends no more then 6 ounces of juice a day. If your little one Loves juice, take a 6 oz water bottle or one that has measurements on the side and fill it to six ounces in the morning so you can keep track of your little ones juice intake. Also make sure your little one gets lots of water infused with fluoride  most counties add fluoride to faucet water so make sure they get water from the faucet. If you have well water or use bottled water talk to your doctor. It is recommended that your little one be off Bottles/sippy cups by 12 months (yeah that’s going to happen). I think a more realistic goal is by 20 months. At 12 months no nuks, no bottles ( make sure to do this by a year because your little one will forget about their bottle or nuk quicker and it will make it much easier for you). Switch to sippys and between 12 and 20 months introduce different sippy cups that will help them make the switch to cups easier. I didn’t introduce cups to LP her grand parents did. When we would go over to their house for dinner they always gave LP a plastic cup and helped her to drink out of it. They had sippy cups but they reserved those for the day time. LP is almost 21 months and uses a cup by herself at dinner now. I plan to have her off sippys by her second birthday but save a few for travel.

I hope that this post has answered some of your questions about dental care for babies. If you have more questions leave a comment and I will try and answer them if I can.

Happy Parenting 🙂Image

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