Gay Rights or Human Rights


Let me just start this post off by saying I am Pro gay rights. Now let me tell you the back story of why I am.

Growing up my parents always taught me to treat people how you want to be treated no matter who they are.  As I grew up I really never thought about that topic, I grew up in a small town and everyone knew everyone pretty much. When I became a teen I experienced something I had never before. My mother was a Brazilian native and  a very active member of our town. She was a teacher full-time teaching English as a second langue and she worked at the local YMCA after school hours. One day after school I drove to the YMCA to see my mom for something (probably to get money for something but I don’t recall). As I walked up my mom was standing out side with two little boys about 10ish. My mom told me how the two boys had trashed the bathroom and we suspended from the YMCA for a week and she was waiting with the boys for their mom to pick them up and to talk to her about it. Soon the mom showed up and I stood off to the side to give my mother and the lady some privacy to talk. Soon the lady was demanding to talk to the person in charge, my mom informed her that she was in charge that day, this lady then started to yell at my mom about how she didn’t know anything because she (my mother) was a stupid spic. I will never for get how that made me feel, for someone to thing it is ok to treat someone like that just because they are different I knew from that moment that I would always treat others with respect no matter their skin color, beliefs, or sex orientation.

In my life I have had gay people in my life, the first person I ever knew who was openly gay was my oldest sisters roommate and friend. He would visit with my sister when she came home and he soon became a good family friend. When I moved to the cities (Minneapolis, st Paul  I soon became friends with many new people including a few gay people. fast forward to when I was 25 years old. My mother told me that when her first husband died her best friend at the time (a gay man) was so concerned about my mom and my older sisters well-being that he offered to marry my mom and take care of them (at those times that was the only way for a gay man to have a family). My mom although she appreciated his offer declined. months later while my mom was visiting friends and family in Brazil became sick and I went to Brazil to see her and be with her at her death-bed. While in Brazil I discovered that my grandfather the man who raised my mother was not my bio grandpa. I guess my grandmother left my grandfather while she was pregnant with my mother. Her employer (a gay man) offered to let my grandma live with him and he would support her and her unborn child as long as he could raise the baby as his own because he had always wanted a child. My mom loved her father I am not sure if she knew growing up of her “father” and mothers arrangement but as an adult she knew and it didn’t matter, he was dad, and he was my grandpa. My husband’s brother is a gay man and lives with is partner and have a very normal marriage (even though it’s not legal in Minnesota I say they are married). I am happy that my children will grow up being exposed to a non traditional family, it makes me proud to have such wonderful people in my family both my brothers in law and my grandfather, because really defining them as gay men comes short of who they are.

With all this talk on gay right this week I can’t help but share my views on the topic. It’s not gay rights at all it human rights in my book. All americans should have the same rights. No matter if you are a man, a women, black or white. It doesn’t matter everyone legal has to be treated the same (not saying that short falls don’t happen). So why does this not include who we marry. I could not imagine a world where I could not marry my husband a man who I love with my whole heart and soul. So I don’t thing it’s fair that others can’t. Not so long ago blacks could not marry whites you tell kids that now and they are so confused on what the issue was back then on that topic because blacks and whites are now equal. I hope someday my grand children will look at the topic of gay marriage in their history books and think “what was the big deal, why couldn’t they get married?”

While I am respectful of people’s beliefs and views this is one topic I will not budge.

I have heard it all:

  • “It says in the bible that’s its wrong”  yeah well so is mixing fibers when you wear them (cotton and polyester for example) in fact pretty sure those two topics are addressed in the same section. in the bible. I think if God is all knowing and all forgiving why would god not want two good people who love each other  not to be together.
  • “Making gay marriage legal will affect my child” really this is so weak, you can’t make someone gay you are born that way, knowing that gay people can be married is not going to fuck up your child. I’m fine and I have had some very good men who happen to be gay in my life as a child.
  • And the one I hate the most of all ” If gay people can get married next people who want to marry an animal will have an argument to make it legal.” OK first fuck you and second you are comparing two consenting adult human beings and an animal. That there makes you a horrible person if you think that way.

Gay people are just that People, And no person should feel like a second class citizen because of their class, skin color, sex, or sexual orientation.

Well that was my rant on the subject and thank you for taking the time to read it.\

Happy equal rights for all 🙂

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To Eat or Not to Eat that is the Question


Little Pumpkin

Remember the days when your baby would cry and you would know they needed one of the following : diaper change, burping, or the boob. Now that LP is a toddler she is always begging for snacks. Always “food?”, Soon followed by a temper tantrum when the answer is no; But how do you know if your toddler is really hungry or just wants to snack.

For Toddlers ( ages 1-3)

Daily calories needed: 1,200-1,400

With toddlers when they are eating lunch or dinner and they tell you that they are full and they have eaten a good amount of food on the plate trust them they know. It’s natural for a toddlers appetite to change day-to-day. one day they may want to eat everything on the plate the next not so much. Research done at the University of California, San Francisco, Up to 85 percent of parents say don’t listen to their kids when they say they are full and push them to eat more (‘two more bites”) , giving them praise for having a couple more bites. This could lead to your child eating when they aren’t hungry. As a child I remember going to my grand parents house for dinner and we weren’t allowed to leave the table until out plates were clean, making us apart of the exclusive “clean plate club”. As an adult I still struggle listening to my body when I am full and not feel like I have to finish everything on my plate. Talk about your classical conditioning. So when I became a parent I knew from the beginning that clean plate would not be a requirement in my childrens lives.  Don’t get me wrong if my kid takes two bites and says All done I know the last time she at was a snack at 2 and it is now 6pm she is hungry, but if she eats most of whats on her plate yeah I’ll listen and tall her good job. If your full you are full no sweets after dinner (fruit, apple sauce, cookies, ect….).  A study done at the University of Pennsylvania found that many over weight 5 to 12 year olds aren’t receptive to their own hunger cues. Helping your child to stay aware whether they are hungry or full may go a long way to prevent obesity.

At lunch time LP eats in the living room at the coffee table with her Little chair. We don’t do this because she wants to watch tv but because she is a toddler and it’s the middle of the day. she will eat a little see a toy she wants to play with then go back to her food and eat some more. Didn’t you know toddlers have busy schedules mid day lot’s of playing to fit in before that nap. so with a PB&J sandwich and some fruit and carrot sticks that gives LP to eat food that wont get cold and still taste good even though she is grazing. As time has gone by doing this I have noticed that LP will spend more and more time eating at one time and taking fewer and fewer play breaks. While this is happening she is learning to sit at the table and eat so when we go places (friends and familys houses for dinner, Restaurants) I have noticed she isn’t as fussy to stay at the table and eat.

At Dinner I do strap her in to the high chair for a few reasons. At the tail end of cooking dinner the house is filled with yummy smells and this kicks LP hunger in high gear resulting her at my feet begging for food. So I strap her in to the high chair and hive her a coloring book with some crayons. This way she knows that I am not ignoring her request and that food is coming soon. She gets to distract herself from the hunger with an activity , and I know she isn’t going to color on the walls or wood floors so I can concentrate on dinner. Finally the high chair is at the same level as the dinning room table so we can eat as a family and she can feel apart of it.

Kids can’t tell time so sticking to a schedule is important we keep meals and snacks about three hours apart. Breakfast at 6:30am ( know she is a early riser) a Healthy snack at 9:30 Lunch at 12:30 followed by a nap, a sweets snack (cookies, fruit snacks) at 3:30 and dinner a little after 6pm. We never really have problems with LP napping because she knows that after lunch comes a nap. keeping your kids on a schedule not only keeps your kid at a healthy by “normalizing hunger, but it helps them to know whats coming next in the day giving them a sense of security.

I know every parent has tried it but giving food as a bribe is a no no. Example: Lp was upset a toy had been taken from her from one of her little friends. She was mad! so she decided to throw a temper tantrum. Hubbys solution. He offers her food because he know thats the fail safe no matter what LP will be happy if you give her food. She is a eater what can I say. When I heard him offer her a treat. I said A. you are rewarding her for throwing a TT. And B. that could lead to emotional eating. He laughed at me “emotional eating?!”. He thought I was off my rocker. “She is two.” he said. Then My friend and I explained that emotional eating is psychological and if when she is disappointed as a child and you give her food to make her feel better, as an adult she will eat when she is upset. A lot of parents use food as reward and or trying to get their kid to do something they want for food. when you do this you are sending the wrong message about food. While some parents do this from time to time for short periods claim success it’s no good to use it in excess.

Bribing your kids to eat veggies is no good as well. toddlers tastes change a lot. one week LP loves cooked carrots the next she wont touch them. just because they don’t want to eat it doesn’t mean you should try to make them eat it, they will probably eat it next week and hate something else. being mindful of what your kid doesn’t want to eat week to week and just giving a different veggie they will eat will save you from wasting food and from tears (yours and your little one 🙂 )

Well I hope this helps you on this crazy adventure we call parenting. If you have more questions, or any feed back about this post  please feel free to leave a comment I love getting feed back from my readers.

Happy parenting! 🙂

Fifth disease


Right now in our home we are battling Fifths Disease. I know it sounds horrible but it’s not as bad as it sounds. At first my mommy friends and I thought it was the same as hand, foot and mouth. Although they are similar they are not the same.

Fifths Disease

The disease is also referred to as slapped cheek syndromeslap cheekslap face or slapped face. The Fifth Disease starts with a low-grade fever, headache, and cold like symptoms, such as a runny or stuffy nose. These symptoms pass, then a few days later the rash appears. The bright red rash most commonly appears in the face. Cheeks are a defining symptom of the infection in children (hence the name “slapped cheek disease”). Occasionally the rash will extend over the bridge of the nose or around the mouth. In addition to red cheeks, children often develop a red, lacy rash on the rest of the body, with the upper arms, torso, and legs being the most common locations. The rash typically lasts a couple of days and may itch; some cases have been known to last for several weeks. Patients are usually no longer infectious once the rash has appeared. Teenagers and adults may present with a self-limited arthritis. It manifests in painful swelling of the joints that feels similar to arthritis. Older children and adults with fifth disease may have difficulty in walking and in bending joints such as wrists, knees, ankles, fingers, and shoulders.

Fifth disease is transmitted primarily by respiratory secretions (saliva, mucus, etc.) but can also be spread by contact with infected blood. The incubation period (the time between the initial infection and the onset of symptoms) is usually between 4 and 21 days. Individuals with fifth disease are most infectious before the onset of symptoms. Typically, school children, day-care workers, teachers and mothers are most likely to be exposed to the virus. When symptoms are evident, there is little risk of transmission; therefore, symptomatic individuals need not be isolated.
Any age may be affected although it is most common in children aged five to fifteen years. By the time adulthood is reached about half the population will have become immune following infection at some time in their past.Outbreaks can arise especially in nursery schools, preschools, and elementary schools.

So Not only is LP battling this rash all over her body but hubby and I have it also. My knee has been killing me the last three weeks and hubbys shoulder has been killing him.

A friend of mine that is learning about essential Oils mixed up a concoction and brought it right over .

Thieves Oil,  purification Oil, lavender Oil, and Coconut Oil We put it on Lps foot every diaper change so every hour and a half on the bottom of her foot, and in one day the rash is so much better!  So I went to a talk about  essential oils and what they can do. I am for sure a believer! I have used essential oils in cleaning products but never for medical uses. I will now!

That’s all for now I need to get up and walking because my knee is really starting to hurt.

Happy parenting

Cloth Diapers…not your Mothers Diaper


When I tell people I cloth diaper they think prefolds and pins, I tell them about modern cloth diapers and how they work and people are just amazed, especially older women who used cloth diapers with their now grown children. So what is a modern cloth diaper? This post will cover some of the inner (the inside part of the diaper that touches babies skin)  materials  and inserts (what soaks up the pee on the inside of the diaper).

There are so many choices AIO (All In Ones), Pockets, AI2 (All In 2), Prefolds, fitteds, flats…..there are so much you pretty much need a collage degree in cloth diapers

INNERS

Microfiber Fleece~ This material wicks moister away from baby. It is found on inserts (so that you can put inserts against babies skin, and on the inners of diapers (the inner is the material that is found on the inside of the diaper that is against babies skin). This material is used as an inner on Thirsties diapers as an example

Suede Cloth~  This material also wicks moister away from babys skin keeping him dry. The only down fall to this material is that some kids have a reaction to the material causing rashes. This material is used in BumGenius Diapers.

Those two materials are mostly used in “name brand” diapers. The following materials are mostly used in WAHM (Work At Home Mom) diapers found on sites such as Etsy or Hyena Cart.

Crushed Panne~ Similar to suede cloth minus the rashes Crushed Panne is a thin material that wicks away moister away from babies skin. Crushed Panne is a thin material but holds up to the many washes that cloth diapers go through. This material is great!

Velour~ This material is a Plush Knit and very soft. Used for cloth wipes as well as inners for diapers this material is a WAHMs favorite for fitted diapers as well as diapers with PUL outers. Velour holds up well wash after was and never fading making your diaper always looking new. Velour can be found in both bamboo and cotton.

Sherpa~ This material is a knit terry with soft brushed loops. This material is very soft and fluffs up when you wash it, it’s very absorbent and be used as an insert, cloth wipes, inner or a whole fitted diaper if you want . This one of my favorite materials

Fleece~ Fleece is less commonly found as an inner in diapers for the pure reason that it does not wick moister away from babies skin. One this material is wet it becomes uncomfortable for baby. Although this is not ideal for a full-time diaper wearing baby, for a toddler starting potty training it’s great for your little one to no pee in their diaper and ask to go potty.

These materials are all great choices for different situations in your little ones daily life, may it be a long car ride, a bedtime diaper or just an everyday diaper.

INSERTS

Microfiber Terry Cloth~This material is most commonly used as the insert or inside soaker of a fitted diaper. microfiber terry is not the same kind of terry cloth as a bath towel, if you buy a drying towel for a car it’s the same as that terry cloth.

Bamboo Terry Cloth~ I myself don’t have a lot of experience with this material. I know that it is very absorbent and a favorite among the Cloth diaper community.

Hemp ~ Hemp is a very absorbent material making it great for heavy wetters. This fabric is very dense and takes longer to air dry compared to other soaker materials.  You can find hemp in many different materials such as terry, french terry, fleece and jersey. A down side to hemp is that it takes a lot more washes to wash out all the natural oils to bring out it’s full absorbency potential.

The Terrible Twos


No one ever told me that the terrible two start before the kid is even two. At about 20 months LP started throwing temper tantrums. I have no one but myself to blame, she has my temper. Lp is a very laid back but when she gets mad, look out! So what to do with these temper tantrums she is throwing.  Well I didn’t want to punish LP for throwing a TT. A temper tantrum is a surge of emotion that your little one experience when they get mad. Learning how to control that emotion is the tricky part. So when ever LP throws a TT I take her to her room and tell her she can cry and scream all she wants in her room and when she is done she can come out and join the rest of us. I figure if LP knows there is a place to throw TT she will learn to control herself in public because her room is not there. Now this is a method I came up with on my own so I have no idea if it will work. LP has never thrown a TT in public yet. I told my husband I want LP to feel that she can express her emotions without feeling like she is doing something wrong. That’s why we put her in her room with the door open. Her room is her safe place, her area to do what she needs to get out her frustrations. When LP is on the verge of a TT I let her know that I understand that she is frustrated. I mean think about how frustrating it would be if you wanted something but no one understood what you wanted. I try to explain to her that I don’t understand what she wants when she doesn’t use her words. I believe a lot of LP TT is caused from frustration so working on communication is key to keep the TT to a minimum.

How do you deal with Temper Tantrums? leave a comment on what worked for you and what didn’t.

 

The Best Night of My Life


After days of debating if I wanted to share this on my blog I have decided to share with you my reader the funniest and most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Prepare to laugh hard and get grossed out.

Last Saturday I had a thirty-one party. After, three friends and I decided since we didn’t have any kids we should take advantage and go sing/watch karaoke. We ended up going in two cars, I driving one. Right before we left I was telling the girls how much I hate driving in St.Paul. It’s confusing and just plan sucks. Anyways as we are driving down the free way (at a place where two freeways conjoin making it a five lane) I see in my rear view mirror Flashing lights. My reaction, roll down all the windows in the car and start yelling is this really happening. My friend “J” who was riding with me didn’t see the ambulance that was quickly approaching us and looked at me like I had lost it. I yell do I pull over or just get over to the very right lane since it’s a five lane. She calmly told me just to get over. Well the ambulance was not going to pass me so I decided to take the exit coming up just to get out of the way. As I take the exit the ambulance did too! Why you ask well because the smart person that I am, I took the exit to get to the hospital, so here I am screaming “Is this really happening” and I am now in Down Town St.Paul and my friend “J” is laughing her ass off as this ambulance is screaming behind us. “STOP LAUGHING AND TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK TO GO!” I yell at”J” as she is wiping the tears from her eyes. Fast forward two hours later.

After some good Laughs at the bar, a shot, one big Ginger (2 gingers and ginger ale , and my name in to sing a song we decide to have another shot. ( I wasn’t even close to being drunk) so My friend “S” is telling the ambulance story to our friend “M” who had missed it the first time Just as I take the shot I start to laugh at something “S” says and I almost spit my drink all over”S” but I stop myself.  Here is where the story gets good; Because I held the drink in I end up inhaling it and start to choke! I am talking I can’t breathe and it’s kinda scary. Then my body decided the way it’s going to fix this problem is to puke all over the table and I am not talking a little bit, I’m talking it just kept coming and wasn’t going to stop. “S” “M” and “J” are laughing so hard in disbelief but then suddenly “S” throws up in her hands and runs out the side door with “M” following her to make sure she is ok.  As I am throwing up in a packed bar on the table I realize I still can’t breathe so my body says I know what I’ll do to solve this problem, I’ll piss my self! Yeah that’s right I started to pee myself (thank god I wore black pants) so as soon as my brain figures out my body has decided to piss its self as I am puking my brain made an executive decision and decided making myself stop peeing was more important than trying to get me to stop puking. After what seemed like a life time I stopped peeing and puking and sat there with my hands around my face scared to look up and see everyone in the bar looking at me. My friend “J” who had stayed faithfully at my side laughing so hard she looked like she was hysterically crying asks “do you want to go to the bathroom?”. My response “I don’t even want to look up.”

After a quick get away to the bathroom I find “S” and “M” in the bathroom laughing about the whole situation and before long the four of us were laughing so hard in the lady’s room that we couldn’t even stand up straight. After a wardrobe change (lucky for me “J” had two shirts on) We headed back to the bar to pay our tab. “J” asked if I was embarrassed and I said I decided that this is so unbelievable that I have decided to laugh about it instead of being totally mortified and so here I am telling you about the best night of my life. The funniest thing to ever happen to me.

I sleep where I want to sleep


LP is 21 months and it seems as if she has already entered her terrible twos. Her temper tantrums are getting worse and more often. All week she has been waking up in the night and throwing temper tantrums for no reason. This goes on for hours every night. I am at my wit’s end.

The other night LP ran to the couch and wanted to sleep on the couch. Our home is baby proofed so I was ok with it as long as I got to sleep. I left LP bedroom door open just in case she wanted to go back to her room. In the morning I awoke to LP gone. Thinking she went to her bedroom I went to go check on her. This is what I found in the hallway.

408569_10151405244120923_1258617876_n

Parenting is hard but sometimes you just have to sit back and laugh.

happy parenting 🙂

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